I have questions...

A brief update

2009-11-12T23:09:56Z

My computer is broken, so I've been forced to use the DH's, which would be fine except for the fact that the "h" key on is computer is broken, thereby forcing me to use the character map to write this.

Anyhow, I have a couple of emails that I need to get back to people on - I'll try for tomorrow because trying to type without an "h" key is frustrating me to no end.

Sigh. I secretly think this is the universe's way to telling me to get off the computer, and because I know better than to argue with the universe, I'm now off to dabble with watercolours. Who knows, maybe I'll even summon up the courage to post the results of my dabbling!

Remembrance Day

2009-11-11T04:20:00Z

Cat, Donkey, Fish - A Photo Essay

2009-11-02T04:29:57Z

Fitzy, posing:

Cat, preparing for Halloween by chillaxing:

Autumn, being glorious:

Fish, on their way to spawn:

(The last week or so has been filled with mayhem and mishaps, including computer and car issues. This week promises to be much better with a sister/niece/brother-in-law visit, though that means I will continue to be scarce in these parts. Hope everyone's safe and well!)

Giveaway Results!

2009-10-24T05:15:12Z

Well, it's been a crazy day involving, among other things, a migraine, so I didn't get chance to draw for that handmade book until just now. All the names got written out and stuck in a bowl, and the trusty DH drew......

*drum roll*

ryan_howse, which is extra awesome because tomorrow (well, today in his part of the world) is his birthday!

So, thank you to all who entered, and Ryan, drop me your mailing address when you have a moment and I'll post the book to you post-haste!

Reminder! Giveaway!

2009-10-21T17:40:13Z

Just a reminder that entries for the book giveaway must be received by October 22 (that's a Thursday, and also, tomorrow) at midnight PST.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about but want to know, go HERE!

Yesterday's Beach Walk

2009-10-20T19:41:46Z

More under the cut...

And, finally, a lighthouse for buymeaclue:

Synchronicity, Martha Graham, and me

2009-10-19T18:24:31Z

Confession time: earlier this year, I experienced a real, full-on writer’s block. Not a fun place to be, and the worst thing was that the longer the block went on, the more I knew I needed to do something to break through it and I needed to do it on my own. I admit that I’m a bit of a lone wolf at the best of times and that isn’t always a good thing, but in this case, any helpful advice I received just seemed to add to the heaviness I felt whenever I thought about writing (this is not to say that I’m not terribly appreciative of advice and support, though!)

Funnily enough, the breaking point for this block came from something an alternative health practitioner I was seeing for my fibroids suggested. There’s a theory in alternative health circles that fibroids and ovarian cysts are connected to blockages in creativity, and my practitioner suggested I dig out my copy of the The Artist’s Way and work through some of the exercises, just to see what shook loose.

Well, shake loose, indeed. That block has been eroded and boy, did were there ever a lot of words dammed up behind it!

Anyhow, synchronicity. That’s what I wanted to write about. Julia Cameron talks about synchronicity a lot in The Artist’s Way, and it’s one of those concepts I’ve always believed in, the idea that things fall in place when they should and not before, and there aren’t any short cuts (foo), and all that. What I like about the concept of synchronicity is that it’s not passive – in order to recognize those moments of “Aha!”, one has to be watchful, and ready to act (and learn) when those moments appear. And, the other thing is that those moments aren’t accompanied by angel trumpets and heavenly music – they’re hard, stark, honest moments when somehow, I’m able to see my truth. Often, they’re “be careful what you wish for moments” too!

So, the other day, I had a moment of synchronicity. I was out running errands, listening to CBC as I drove from one place to the next. Jian Gomeshi was interviewing an author (whose name I can’t remember) about his new book, and why he wrote it, and the author quoted a letter from Martha Graham to Agnes de Mille. Agnes de Mille, who was enjoying the success of choreographing things like ‘Seven Brides for Seven Brothers’ on Broadway, wrote to Ms. Graham, asking her if she was spinning her wheels, wasting her talent, selling out, that sort of thing. And Ms. Graham wrote back with the following:

There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique.

And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable it is nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.
You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you.

Keep the channel open. No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive.

Ah, I thought. Yes. If I hadn’t gone through that block, I wouldn’t have opened The Artist’s Way, and if I hadn’t opened the Artist’s Way, I wouldn’t have read about synchronicity and blockages and how to heal, and if I hadn’t done that, I might not have hopped in my car the other day to go out searching for waxed thread for book binding (because I probably wouldn’t have taken that book binding class) and if I hadn’t been in my car, I wouldn’t have been listening to that interview and would never have known about the letter Martha Graham wrote.

But the point is: I was, and I did, and here I am. Keep the channel open. That’s my job. And march to the tune of that blessed unrest.

A Giveaway

2009-10-18T00:32:57Z

So, two weeks ago, I learned how to make coptic bound books. It took me about a week to gather up all the supplies I needed, and since then, I've made three, with a fourth in bits and pieces. But, what, I said to myself, am I going to do with all these books? Well, some of them will become Christmas presents, but one of them I'm going to give away to some lucky person. If you'd like that lucky person to be you, leave me a comment to this post with your name, email, and the title/author of your favorite book (or books, if you prefer!). (LJ users, perhaps just comment with the title/author of your favorite book, as I can find you via your username...)

(Edited to add: I will ship this little lovely anywhere in the world, so if you live in some exotic place, please don't let that stop you from entering!)

Next Friday (October 23), I'll put all the names in a hat and draw one out. That person will be the lucky owner of a hand-bound book filled with 42 pages of cream 67 pound paper. The book is covered with Daphne paper, a high quality handmade paper from India. Here's a photo:

All this book needs now is a new owner to fill it with wonderful things.

I'll be accepting entries until October 22 at 12 midnight PST, and once I have a winner, I'll need that person's mailing address so I know where to send their prize!

In which I pass along yummy things

2009-10-13T19:53:31Z

I am emerging from my post-turkey fog so I can link to the contributions I made to my family's Thanksgiving dinner.

Yummy Item #1: Pumpkin Cream Cheese Truffles...

http://lillyella.blogspot.com/2009/10/in-kitchen-pumpkin-cream-cheese.html

(Easy, and awesome - not a single one was left!)

Yummy Item #2: Gingerbread Truffles

http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Gingerbread-Truffles-233424

(Also easy, also awesome, provided one likes ginger)

Yummy Item #3: Black Sticky Gingerbread

http://www.101cookbooks.com/archives/000864.html

(For me, the awesomest of the bunch. I had to sub fancy molasses for blackstrap as I didn't have any blackstrap on hand, so my cake is more brown than black. But! Not only is this delish right out of the oven, but add a little milk & heat up in the microwave, and you've got a stellar breakfast.)

Friday Things

2009-10-09T17:07:26Z

1. I just took a look at the 14 day forecast for our area, and.....holy moly, we might have snow on Tuesday. Snow mixed with rain, but still! I'm skeptical, but I guess we'll see.

2. Tonight, I'm going to hear Starhawk speak. So excited, and I hope to come home brimming with inspiration on how to make our world a better place.

3. On that note, it's Thanksgiving in Canada this weekend. Turkey and pumpkin pie, hooray! And, dinner with family and friends - what could be better?

4. And, on the writing end of things, I think I've hit the halfway point in my bug novel. It's amazing how a novel starts out as just an idea, and then grows and grows into some wild gardeny thing with thorns and straggly bits and everything! It's been a a while since I've really just immersed myself in the process of writing, and what I need to remember is when I do, I am a happy camper.

That's it! Happy Friday, all, and a happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate!

Well, that's a nice way to start the day!

2009-10-07T17:59:38Z

I've seen that some of my fellow 2011debuts have found their books on GoodReads, so I decided to take a peek to see if mine was there. Low and behold, it was!

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6931234-the-shadows-cast-by-stars

*insert happy dance here*

And what's extra cool is someone's got it on their "to read" list, someone who I don't even know.

Eeeeee!

Days Like This

2009-10-06T22:15:20Z

In today's WIP, two of my characters are having a conversation on the merits of boiled potatoes.

This, I tell you, is the stuff that Pulitzers are made of.

Just sayin'.

*headdesk*

In Which I Reveal Just How Much of a Book-Geek I am, Or What I Did Today!

2009-10-05T21:19:43Z

Today, I made a book! A coptic bound book. Look, here it is:

Here's the spine so you can see my nice little stitches:

And here are the bits and pieces for the next book I'm making, all cut and ready to go:

And finally, here's the paper I'll be using for more book projects - I have a serious paper addiction, so now I'm able to do something with all the paper I've been hoarding away...

So exciting! Now, I'm off to work on what goes inside a book now that I've learned how to make the outside...

An Actual Post about Posty Things, or Friday Itemization

2009-10-02T16:55:04Z

The state of the horse: After a summer of dealing with a serious case of allergies, resulting in Will being covered in open, weeping hives, and then losing his hair on each of those hives, he is finally (FINALLY!) looking healthy again. His winter coat is coming in thick and fast (I'm betting it's going to be another cold winter) and our lessons are going great guns. Not easy, but that's the thing about getting better at something, I think - it doesn't get easier. It gets harder, because it means one is getting into the fine details, and for me, that's so exciting - not to mention the fact that my riding teacher has been doing a lot of dancing around while shouting, "You're dancing! You're dancing! He looks beautiful! That's excellent!" at my lessons. It is very nice to feel like I'm doing okay at something every once in a while.

Also, I love Will. Horses are such generous, forgiving creatures, and Will is a particularly good soul, though, I might be a little biased.

The state of the writing Words cannot express how lucky we writers are to have good writerly friends. Yay you guys - honestly, I'm so grateful.

Also, words cannot express how lucky I am to have such an awesome agent. Diana, you rock.

Finally, last night, I decided to put SUN away for a bit because I feel like I'm flogging the story, and instead, I dug out LOOSENED FROM THE SKY, my bug-alt-history story, and felt the love again - the same feeling I had when I was writing SHADOWS, the feeling that even if the story meant nothing to anyone else, it meant something to me, and that was good enough. That's missing with SUN, and I do wonder if it's something I need to find, or, if it's something that's even findable. Maybe it's like that X-factor - either a person has it, or doesn't.

Anyhow, bugs it is for now.

The state of the Cat So. October. I'm an autumn person. I think it's my favorite season, with the crisp air and the cool days. This summer was unusually hot for my pocket of the globe, and I have to admit I felt like a wilted piece of lettuce most days. But now, autumn is here, the leaves are turning, the horses are getting fuzzy, there's a dusting of snow on the mountains, and soon, frost will arrive. Thanksgiving's next weekend, meaning pumpkin pie and turkey and a family gathering. My back is better (provided I remember to do my exercises), some of our family crises have settled down, and to sum up:

Today is a good day.

Happy Friday to all!

The Last Camping Trip of the Year

2009-09-14T16:24:30Z

I'm stuck at home today because as soon as I got home last night, I put out my back. Yes, a weekend of camping and no problem, but five minutes of my back exercises and I couldn't move from the pain. This does not bode well for my riding lesson tomorrow, but I've got physio today, so with luck *fingers crossed* all will be well.

In the meantime, a photo essay!

The view from our campsite:

Looking down the lake valley:

The DH standing on a stump that was cut back at the turn of the century before the valley was flooded. The fact that it's not longer submerged shows how low the water levels have been this year:

Sun coming through Old Man's Beard and hemlocks:

And a little friend we met while out hiking:

And with that, I'm off to get some heat on my back to see if I can work out a few of the aches before getting on with my day....

The Friday Report

2009-09-11T17:50:09Z

Gah, it's been a crazy week and next week looks like more of the same. No rest for the wicked?

Anyhow, here is my Friday report:

1. Going camping this weekend. The DH and I both feel a need to get away from computers, cell phones, and civilization in general.

2. My back is much improved - so improved that the physio only wants to see me if and when my back needs to see her. This is cause for much celebration (though, who knows how said back will feel after a weekend of sleeping on the ground?)!

3. Mr. Horse has survived a summer of horrible allergies and is now looking like an actual horse again, rather than a hairless, lumpy, scabby, pathetic thing. This is also cause for much celebration, and man, is he feeling better! We had an awesome ride on Wednesday with half-steps, walk pirouettes, and walk-canters - all without stirrups. Hooray for us! And, I'm doubly excited because next week, I'm having a lesson on a Grand Prix horse - scary and yet so exciting, because I'll find out just how much I still have to learn. (Which, I'm betting, is a lot).

4. Next week involves trips to Victoria (for the riding lesson) and Vancouver (to get my ITIN application finalized) so I will probably continue to be scarce in LJ-land, and well, in general. This is okay - I'm getting geared up for revisions on SHADOWS, so getting all this to-ing and fro-ing out of my life now is definitely a good thing. SHADOWS has also made a trip to a local First Nations lady for vetting, which should alleviate my fears of committing a faux-pas (or worse, some horrible egregious error arising out of my own ignorance) that will land me on Oyate's Avoid list...I hope. And, who knows - maybe I'll learn a thing or two along the way. Learning is never a bad thing!

Anyhow, I hope everyone is happy and well out there on this day in particular. It seems to me that it's a particularly good day to hug someone you love.

Ciao!

Story!

2009-09-02T21:23:10Z

My story "The Bear and the Bicycle" has gone live at Cabinet des Fées, should you wish to read (and many thanks to erzebet for the beautiful artwork that accompanies the story!)

This is a beautiful ezine, full of stories of wonder, and I am very pleased that my story gets to rub shoulders with some excellent people round these parts - people like tithenai and mer_moon, and time_shark and hooks_and_books, and others. Please read, and should you enjoy the offerings, please drop the authors (and the editor!) a note to let them know you did!

A Visit to the Fall Fair

2009-08-31T16:51:41Z

The DH and I went to the Comox Valley Fall Fair on the weekend, something I've done since I was a kid. Here's what we saw:

The old-timers baling oat straw:

Some sheep, who were quite willing to pose for portraits:

The Western drill team ready to go (if you look carefully, you might be able to see the purple stars on the rumps of all their horses...so cute!):

The 4-H kids getting their cows ready to show (they had just finished hair spraying the tufts on the cows' tails....)

And over at the poultry competition:

And last, Thanksgiving, the champion tom:

Brief Update

2009-08-22T15:40:09Z

FYI: I've injured my back. Or, rather, I injured it a while ago and it's only just caught up to me (nothing too serious - just painful). But, I am alive and healing and hoping to be back to my usual form soon. *hopes*

Hope everyone is safe and well!

Fire! Fire!

2009-08-04T19:31:00Z

British Columbia is burning - over 800 wildfires as of today, the largest of which is about 7500 hectares. Whole communities have been evacuated, and more are cut off completely. The mountains near my home are just a blue haze and last night, an orange moon graced the sky, all due to the smoke in the air.

The good news is that we're supposed to get a couple days of cool weather, and maybe even some rain, which will help the fire crews. And, more help is arriving Thursday - crews from Australia and New Zealand are on route to give the current crews a rest. We're a little anxious in our house right now because the DH's reserve unit has been put on alert. He fought in the 2003 firestorm in Kelowna where 45,000 people were evacuated, and if things get worse, he might be sent back.

Needless to say, there are a lot of people out there who could use some help. Here are some places to donate if you are able:

The BC SPCA - http://www.spca.bc.ca/media/KelownaFires_July202009_Press.asp#Updates
The BC Red Cross - http://www.redcross.ca/article.asp?id=32464&tid=078

More about BC Wildfires: http://bcwildfire.ca/
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/british-columbia/story/2009/08/04/bc-fire.html

Breaking Radio Silence...

2009-07-28T22:58:19Z

...to introduce the newest visitor to my fence:

One of a matching set.

(Apologies for the grainy photo - the little ones were skittish, so I wasn't able to get any really great quality shots. But, who can resist a fawn, even when it's in a grainy photo?)

San Josef Bay photographs

2009-07-13T05:12:26Z

San Josef Bay is in Cape Scott Provincial Park, about a five hour drive north of our house - not easy to get to, but well worth it. Even with the cougar, it's one of my favorite places on this planet.

Here's the fog rolling in at dusk:

More under the cut, but warning: image heavy!

The view from the top of Mount Saint Patrick:

Low tide:

And a sea anemone for Shari:

In Which the Wild Gets Wild

2009-07-12T05:35:31Z

So. We have returned a day early. There is a reason for this.

But first, let me say that I so needed to go somewhere wild. I'm not restored (the reason for this to be revealed momentarily) but at least I'm centered. I have a feeling this is going to be a rough week.

Anyhow! Let it be noted that I don't really like the dark when I'm out in the bush. If I'm lucky, I fall asleep quickly, but if I'm unlucky, I lie awake, noting each and every snap and crackle while imagining what creature is about to pounce and eat me.

Thursday night, I fell asleep right away because I was so tired. I didn't even hear the ocean, which is something considering the waves at high tide crash about twenty feet from our tent. Friday, the DH and I hiked up a mountain, where every step is either a lunge or a squat - ugh, hard work - but the view was worth it (photos will be posted once I dig my camera out of my pack). So, I was all prepared for another night of no-listening-for-wildbeasts due to hike-induced deep sleep.

'Twas not to be. But first: we were one of two tents camping on this particular beach that stretches about a kilometer in length. Our tent was in the middle. The other tent, belonging to a very nice family, was at the far end, near the trailhead for the trail we hiked.

About 8 pm, the husband of the family wanders down to us. He's brought his dog along, and he's carrying a hatchet. Fortunately, he doesn't look like the axe-murderer type. When he gets within ear-shot, he says, "Um, so, there's a cougar around."

Us: "Oh yeah? Like, now?"

Him: "Yeah."

Us: "Like, right now?"

Him: "Um, yeah."

So, we wander down to his tent where his wife is standing next to a very large fire. The kidlets and the little dog are already safely inside their tent, which was a very good thing, because there, on the ridge just above their tent, is a large, thin cougar. The husband's a hunter, so he's the one who spotted it (with is both lucky and amazing, considering cougar sightings are VERY rare), and so we proceed to spend the next 30 minutes throwing rocks, clapping, yelling, waving our arms - all the things you're supposed to do to get a cougar to leave. But it doesn't leave. I suggest we put the other dog in the tent. The cougar watches it go. And still doesn't leave.

Consider all us spooked.

Finally, it does, but here's the thing: dusk has fallen long ago - no one's going into the woods, so we have to spend a very long, very nervous wracking night on a beach with a cougar who's hungry enough to openly show itself to four adults.

Needless to say, that was enough for us. We packed up this morning and headed out (also, my back was bothering me, but really, it was the cougar...)

Still, despite being very spooked, it was thrilling to see a wildcat. Super-scary, but thrilling all the same.

But I have no desire to go backpacking in the wilds again any time soon. Black bears? No problem (and we saw two this trip!). A person has to do something pretty dumb to get them riled up (not that I don't treat them with a healthy quantity of respect, though! Be bear aware!). But, cougars? Scary, and a cougar that watches and waits? Scariest!

Into the Wild

2009-07-09T14:06:51Z

The DH and I are heading out to the North Island this morning for several days of hiking, beachcombing, and staring at campfires. No phones, no computers, no electricity, no running water - but plenty of bliss.

Photo essay will be posted upon my return....

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Updatery

2009-07-06T18:16:55Z

Item 1: We had a fantastically wicked thunderstorm last night - wooo! Thunder and lightning isn't common for my part of the world, and so to sit up and watch the forked lightning streak across the sky (usually we only get sheet lightning) - awesome!

Item 2: Part of my radio silence has been due to heavy-duty, running-deep work on SUN, work where I'm learning more about my process and what I need to do in order to do justice the story I wish to write. It's funny, there's a pattern there that I didn't see, if only because I've needed a couple of novels to look back on. Sort of like walking a labyrinth, I think - the pattern is only discernible when one looks back. Or, maybe it's only discernible when one morphs into a crow and looks at the labyrinth from above. Either way, I think I see the pattern now, and will hopefully be able to identify its twists and turns in the future - or, at least, hold on to that length of string and find my way back through.

At any rate, this story has gone in some directions that I would never have thought possible, directions that couldn't have happened if I didn't have some very helpful people asking me some very tough questions. So, that is a good thing.

Item 3: Reading - oh, have I been reading lately! Isn't reading one of life's great pleasures? So many wonderful books, and sometimes I find myself saddened by the knowledge that I'll never be able to read them all. I'll only ever get to sample a smattering at best, but lately - what a feast! Stuff by James Hillman and Thomas Moore on the non-fiction side, and A.S. Byatt and Rosemary Sutcliffe on the fiction side of things. And poetry by Mary Oliver. (Oh, and thank you, ryan_howse for recommending "Art of Fiction" - this book has been so helpful and inspiring - yay!)

My world is richer for books.

Item 4: In my continued quest to become a somewhat grounded individual, I have returned to another great love of mine: calligraphy. Over the last while, I've been dabbling in artisty things, and have come up dissatisfied. Well, perhaps dissatisfied isn't the right word. Confused might be, especially in regards to my intentions. I enjoy drawing because I understand pencils and paper. I do not, however, understand paint. I wish to paint those beautiful scenes like those of Samuel Palmer, but I get incredibly frustrated when I set out to paint with watercolour because my own technique (if, in fact, that is what it could be called) is so incredibly random. I set out for something Samuel Palmer-esque, and instead get carried away with letting the paints do what they want, which means I'm not really painting, but observing, more or less. The paint does the work. I just slap it on.

That's a long way of saying that there's something so satisfying about pen and ink, about carving letters into a piece of paper. And, I understand ink. I also like it when my hands get covered in ink (the curse of being a lefty), provided I don't wipe it on my face, which has been known to happen. From time to time.

Anyhow, I have some plans for these calligrapic adventures, plans that I shall keep close to my chest for the time being, though I did try to scan some letters, but my scanner is possessed and is convinced that I do not, in fact, want to scan full pages. What I really want to do is scan 4x6 photographs - or so it believes. Honestly, there are days when I'm convinced all my electronic devices are sentient beings who are conspiring against me. And with each other. And with watercolour paint.

I hope everyone out there is happy and well and enjoying summer!